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I can’t take credit for this, but I thought it funny and scarily appropriate.

Confused About All The ‘isms Being Thrown Around?  No Longer…Here’s Your Handy Guide:

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows.  You sell one and buy a bull.  Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.  You sell the herd and retire on the income.

Socialism
You have two cows.  The State takes one to give to a poorer neighbor.

Communism
You have two cows.  The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism
You have two cows.  The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism
You have two cows.  The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism
You have two cows.  The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

An American Publicly-Held Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one to reduce costs and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.  You apply for federal Bailout funds as you’re too big to fail.

AIG Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.  You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you show getting four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.  The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder.  He sells the rights to now seven cows back to your listed company.  The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option for one more.  You then sell one of these cows to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with assets of nine cows.  No balance sheet provided with the release. Then the public buys your bull.